How to start a Mom School?

This is my first post on this forum, but Laura I have great news: I'm also in Gilbert, I have a 3.5 year old, an almost 2 year old and a 6 month old. :) I've been looking at preschools the last year or so but haven't been too thrilled with what I've found. Now I'm looking into starting (or joining, if I can find one) a Joy School group. Would you be interested? I would LOVE to find more families that have similar beliefs about education that my husband and I have.

I get the impression that it's bothering you that your children aren't "in school" or "doing schooly stuff" or just "not doing Enough schooly stuff" at home. I also wonder if you're feeling like you've let your children down by taking them out of Montessori school, since the "in thing" with American society is to put small children in the care of professionals rather than in the care of Mom. After all, they've been trained in what to do, and Mom, in most cases, has not.

On the other hand you may just be lonely for other people who think like you, in which case it's easy: set up the activities you want to do with your children and invite other moms and children to join you. Small groups work best for the age your children are, the smaller the group the better. And you may have noticed that 3yo and 2yo don't like to do highly structured activities for more than a minute or two at a time. Park days are your friends. So are days when you just gather at your home and talk while your children play around you.

If you're going to do something messy, like painting, you're probably better off doing it either alone with your children so you can keep a close eye on them, or doing it with an older mom whose children are able to safely paint without help; in which case the older children will be good (or bad) examples for your children (depending on the older children's attitudes) and there will be accidents where an older child has a painting damaged or clothes painted by a younger child. The older mom will hopefully help you out, but may not be enthusiastic about doing something messy with small children.

Older moms are supposed to be mentors to younger moms, but they generally haven't been taught to do so and frequently take the attitude that their children are older, thank goodness, so why bother with little ones? If you find an older mom who welcomes you and your children into her life, welcome her! (Assuming of course that she isn't encouraging snotty behavior in her--and in your--children.)

So! What would your children be learning in the care of professionals? How to wait in line... which you can do better and in a more interesting environment at the grocery store. That they're not the center of the universe (how to be less selfish)... which you can do better at home because you can assure them that they're still loved while not letting them club each other. Montessori has centers for learning, I think, which you can easily duplicate at home just by teaching your children how to use things safely. It means that you get to do things with your children, deliberately including them in your activities.

The biggest drawback in teaching children at home is No Custodial Staff. No one will clean up messes for you; no kindly older gentleman with a mop will show up when you call. This is, however, a tremendous blessing. Your children will not have a personal slave to clean up after them (unless you take the job). You have a golden opportunity to teach them to take care of their own things and keep their own bodies clean. These are major Core lessons. People who have been trained to care for their own homes take better care of the earth when they get older.

You are supremely qualified for this job because you are devoted to your subjects. They will pick up on your attitudes. Parenthood is not just to teach children. It is also to teach you, through figuring out how to help them. Do spend time with other parents, but remember your children want you, not other adults, at this point in their lives. Take a night off once a month without children, with other moms, and just talk. It will restore your perspective to hear and be heard. Also take time to have a date with your husband frequently, once a week if possible. Get a babysitter or if there are no volunteers, put children in bed and spend some time together late at night. A strong marriage is a core value, learned by observing how marriages are strengthened. A better relationship with your husband will lead directly to improvements in your children (may not look like it at first, but unity in love always helps).