Submitted by IgniteMovement on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 10:32am.
Renee, I LOVE how you have made it work for your family!
My little one's are 6, 4, & 3. My husband and I let the children know that they make important contributions to our family, and that their, "job" is to help the family work better.
I have been wishing I had a more concrete way to show them that their actions really do make a difference, but have shied away from monetary awards. This is perfect! I love that every one can reward each other for, "helping their family" as we say in our house!
Submitted by Renee Morris on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 7:34pm.
Hey there. We have started a bean jar.
First, our rewards... We are on our second filling. Our first 'reward' was the Starwars Exhibit at the museum. Next... not sure. Right now they are REALLY into going to restaurants. so we may take them somewhere to eat. or the water park, which we never go to. also they have ideas about using it for family service opportunities. We haven't decided if we will use that as a reward.
This is how we fill our jar. You can't nominate yourself for a bean. And everyone can contribute. They can nominate me for a bean for a meal, a good book read, not being as grumpy as I could have been, not yelling at the 3 yr old for spilling her water for the 3rd time in 5 minutes... things like that. They (and I ) nominate each other... for helping when not asked, for learning something new, for remembering to brush teeth, for playing with the sister... anything! we don't take it seriously, and yet we do... if that makes any sense! :)
Our hard fast rule, though, is once you nominate yourself for a bean, you can no longer get one for that 'thing'. Thaddeus knows how to get around that. If he thinks he deserves a bean he just nominates someone else for something, and then hopes someone will nominate him for one!! beans are given out at laundry time, b-fast, whenever.
Its been fun. Its nice to see every one encouraging each other!
Submitted by gillingh2o on Mon, 05/24/2010 - 6:03pm.
Those are great ideas. Today we played a spelling game and kids got a bean for each of their words. One chose not to play the game so he didn't get beans. We don't nominate, but I like that idea of their siblings noticing something good the other is doing. That is just wonderful. I may change our rule on our next filling!
Happy Homeschooling!
You say, nominate. Do your children need your approval to give a bean? Do you give just one bean for each thing? Never two or three or a handful? Do you have problems with children getting into the beans and playing with them? Do you have children sneaking beans into the jar?
I would have to keep a really close eye on it at my house. There is no stable secure flat surface when it could set undisturbed and still be easily accessible but not in anyone's way.
Submitted by Renee Morris on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:19am.
when I say nominate, I suppose that sounds a little official :) . say Thad runs down to get groceries from the car, Keenan may shout out, Thad gets a bean!! - or something like that.
But only mom or dad are supposed to TOUCH the beans and move them. BUT anyone can suggest! Usually it's just one bean for each thing. sometimes We'll give two out. the other day we were giving them out all day long for random things. today I don't think we gave any, because we were outside and thinking of other things.
Now and then my 3 yr old gets into them, but she knows she is not supposed to, and usually remembers :)
It's not as 'fun' in some ways, but you could do the same thing wish a sticker chart or something... every one is eligible for stickers... dad changed the oil, mom didn't yell over the spilt milk, shand kept her underwear on all day (yes... it's an accomplishment! :) )
hope that helps a little. It's late and I'm rambling. :)
Renee
Sorry, no ideas for that. I don't use one. I found that with my eldest son, paying him for anything was like a narcotic. He stopped doing anything that wasn't paid for; we had a lot of arguments and finally concluded that reimbursing him, even giving a tiny allowance, was ruining our family unity.
Submitted by gillingh2o on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 11:42am.
From what I read the Bean Jar is for the whole family to earn beans for anything they do, not just one child so all benefit from the filling of it then when it is filled you do something fun as a family. Never heard of the exchange of money at all. The first time we filled it we took the kids to a Pizza Parlor. Not sure what to do next that's all.
I may have misunderstood what the Bean Jar was for. I had not heard of it when I tried allowances and earning rewards for behavior. What we tried way back when didn't work, so when I read about the Bean Jar I was not inclined to even try it.
Our family unity has been developed more by having Family Home Evening every Monday without fail, by praying together, by having lunch and dinner together as much as possible (which is most of the time), by working on housework together, gardening together, reading aloud and watching media together followed by discussions. We also study the scriptures together and individually. Our goal for the last two years has been to hold our family scripture reading every weekday morning right after the older children's early morning religion class. It has taken two years for me to get myself into a rut of getting up by 8 nearly every morning! let alone getting children to gather at that time...
Do your children have ideas for family activities? Hiking, going to a special park, attending a special event or place?
Disneyland? Just Kidding. I
Disneyland?
Just Kidding. I have not implemented this ingredient successfully, so it's great to read all your ideas!
Renee, I LOVE how you have
Renee, I LOVE how you have made it work for your family!
My little one's are 6, 4, & 3. My husband and I let the children know that they make important contributions to our family, and that their, "job" is to help the family work better.
I have been wishing I had a more concrete way to show them that their actions really do make a difference, but have shied away from monetary awards. This is perfect! I love that every one can reward each other for, "helping their family" as we say in our house!
Time to dust off a jar from the garage!
Thanks for the great idea!
~April.
our take on the beans...
Hey there. We have started a bean jar.
First, our rewards... We are on our second filling. Our first 'reward' was the Starwars Exhibit at the museum. Next... not sure. Right now they are REALLY into going to restaurants. so we may take them somewhere to eat. or the water park, which we never go to. also they have ideas about using it for family service opportunities. We haven't decided if we will use that as a reward.
This is how we fill our jar. You can't nominate yourself for a bean. And everyone can contribute. They can nominate me for a bean for a meal, a good book read, not being as grumpy as I could have been, not yelling at the 3 yr old for spilling her water for the 3rd time in 5 minutes... things like that. They (and I ) nominate each other... for helping when not asked, for learning something new, for remembering to brush teeth, for playing with the sister... anything! we don't take it seriously, and yet we do... if that makes any sense! :)
Our hard fast rule, though, is once you nominate yourself for a bean, you can no longer get one for that 'thing'. Thaddeus knows how to get around that. If he thinks he deserves a bean he just nominates someone else for something, and then hopes someone will nominate him for one!! beans are given out at laundry time, b-fast, whenever.
Its been fun. Its nice to see every one encouraging each other!
Thank you Ranee,
Those are great ideas. Today we played a spelling game and kids got a bean for each of their words. One chose not to play the game so he didn't get beans. We don't nominate, but I like that idea of their siblings noticing something good the other is doing. That is just wonderful. I may change our rule on our next filling!
Happy Homeschooling!
Do you have to approve items?
You say, nominate. Do your children need your approval to give a bean? Do you give just one bean for each thing? Never two or three or a handful? Do you have problems with children getting into the beans and playing with them? Do you have children sneaking beans into the jar?
I would have to keep a really close eye on it at my house. There is no stable secure flat surface when it could set undisturbed and still be easily accessible but not in anyone's way.
when I say nominate, I
when I say nominate, I suppose that sounds a little official :) . say Thad runs down to get groceries from the car, Keenan may shout out, Thad gets a bean!! - or something like that.
But only mom or dad are supposed to TOUCH the beans and move them. BUT anyone can suggest! Usually it's just one bean for each thing. sometimes We'll give two out. the other day we were giving them out all day long for random things. today I don't think we gave any, because we were outside and thinking of other things.
Now and then my 3 yr old gets into them, but she knows she is not supposed to, and usually remembers :)
It's not as 'fun' in some ways, but you could do the same thing wish a sticker chart or something... every one is eligible for stickers... dad changed the oil, mom didn't yell over the spilt milk, shand kept her underwear on all day (yes... it's an accomplishment! :) )
hope that helps a little. It's late and I'm rambling. :)
Renee
I don't use one.
Sorry, no ideas for that. I don't use one. I found that with my eldest son, paying him for anything was like a narcotic. He stopped doing anything that wasn't paid for; we had a lot of arguments and finally concluded that reimbursing him, even giving a tiny allowance, was ruining our family unity.
From what I read the Bean Jar
From what I read the Bean Jar is for the whole family to earn beans for anything they do, not just one child so all benefit from the filling of it then when it is filled you do something fun as a family. Never heard of the exchange of money at all. The first time we filled it we took the kids to a Pizza Parlor. Not sure what to do next that's all.
I may have misunderstood
I may have misunderstood what the Bean Jar was for. I had not heard of it when I tried allowances and earning rewards for behavior. What we tried way back when didn't work, so when I read about the Bean Jar I was not inclined to even try it.
Our family unity has been developed more by having Family Home Evening every Monday without fail, by praying together, by having lunch and dinner together as much as possible (which is most of the time), by working on housework together, gardening together, reading aloud and watching media together followed by discussions. We also study the scriptures together and individually. Our goal for the last two years has been to hold our family scripture reading every weekday morning right after the older children's early morning religion class. It has taken two years for me to get myself into a rut of getting up by 8 nearly every morning! let alone getting children to gather at that time...
Do your children have ideas for family activities? Hiking, going to a special park, attending a special event or place?
good
goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.