Getting Back Into This
Hello Everyone!
I have to say, reading TJED was the first thing that got me really excited about homeschooling in the first place. However, 3 1/2 years later I'm not doing so well at this method. In theory it sounds GREAT but in reality I'm too nervous my kids won't learn what they need to learn OR I'm just not so good at teaching in this way.
My oldest (9yo boy) should be in the Love of Learning Phase, but it's just not happening. I can't get him to read anything he can't finish in a couple of hours, and especially not "classics". Anytime I get a good colleciton of classics for him, he won't read them. If there's a "reward" attached he'll read it (i.e. we took him to the theater to watch Prince Caspian if he read the book). I just want to inpsire him to read the classics, but everything for him is a "check if off my list as done and then waste the rest of the day pestering my siblings."
So, I guess my question is: HOW do I INSPIRE him to read CLASSICS on his own (we already read classics aloud continuously and have listened to several on CD as well)?
2nd Question: How much should he really be writing by now (with this method)? He hates writing and I hate that he hates writing because it's a "failure" mark on my head.
I guess I just don't get from him that he's really "Loving Learning" and so thus I feel like a real failure in the homeschooling department!
THANKS for anything you can give me!
(P.S. I have 4 other children younger than him, so it's easier for me to sometimes just let him do the worksheets and be done)
A couple suggestions
It's been a while since you posted and you may have solved the problem by now, but I had a couple of suggestions just in case. One is that whenever you get stuck, go back and reread A Thomas Jefferson Education. You may discover something you missed or forgot that will help.
The second is to remember that there are classics in every area of interest, which aren't necessarily all books to read. While inspiring him to read will be a great gift you can give him, even greater will be helping him to really study the things he's interested in. Learning is much more fun and rewarding than playing video games (I believe you mentioned that he'd play video games all day if you let him in one of the comments, right). Plus, he'll be more inspired to read and write in order to obtain more information and really understand his interests.
I have a younger brother who is still struggling to get through public school (now in college). We used to laugh about how he hated to read, but would check out these huge books from the library on computer code that none of the rest of us could even understand. I also have another brother who spends most of his time playing video games and has all his life. He has rewritten some of the code for several well known video games and created a few of his own. According to the younger brother, this brother is uber smart in computer code. I believe him because I have no idea what they are talking about when they talk "computer."
Unfortunately, both of my brothers struggle with the assumption that their talents aren't worth much in this academically-minded world because neither one of them have degrees, but they are both very intelligent. While your son may not be passionate enough about video games to decode them, if you can find something he is that passionate about, you won't have to worry so much about getting him to do what he needs to in order to learn. Math, reading, and writing are all part of the great world of knowledge and your son will need them no matter what he does. He'll pick them up if he's interested in something and realizes how these skills will help him.
I really like the comments
I really like the comments that have been made. I just want to add that you need to figure out how and when to let go. This is your son's education, not yours. Your education is separate, not as in totally separate, but your education is your direct responsibility, and his education is His responsibility, only indirectly your responsibility.
To take an extreme example, you could beat him until he recites volumes of encyclopedias from memory, but it wouldn't be His--he would not Own the education, because you chose it and made him swallow it. He will learn best those things he's interested in.
You recognize that in the eyes of the world, how he does academically is a reflection on you, especially since you are homeschooling him. It's totally unfair, since public schooled children are paradoxically held responsible for swallowing whatever the school dishes out, yet they don't get to choose what to learn. Your friends and neighbors and family members expect results, preferably results they can measure and compare.
It's like growing plants. You don't dig up beans to see if they're growing. You water them and let them soak up sunlight and you pray over them, but their growth is not up to you. In the same way, you set the environment for your children, but their growth is not up to you. Let go of it. Do what you can do, which is your own learning and example. Set poles for your plants to climb, that is, set your home structure, attitude, schedule of waking and sleeping and meals, and encourage them, but don't force them to be like every other bean. They are individuals. Be glad!
Love of learning
How much choice does he have? How much do you let him determine how much time he puts in to a particular activity? What do you mean by classics? There are many short stories and short books that are classics. With my own children, 9 is too young to expect them to read Narnia on their own, just because other children choose it doesn't mean mine have to. I had one daughter who at 8 wanted to read Little Women. She made several attempts over a few years and finally at 13 read the entire book. It was all her own idea and I left her alone to pursue or put aside.
Do you have one on one time with him to listen to him and get to know him? This would help you figure out what he needs and what he needs from you. Is he bored? Does he have interests you could engage in with him?
TJEd is a set of guiding principles to be applied to any curriculum and/or methodolgy. There are no set rules for when and how much because that is very individual and can only be determined by you and the child. I will tell you this, Charlotte Mason never expected writing until 10 years old, and only after lots of narration experience. What kind of writing are you talking about, his own thoughts or copywork?
Love of learning kids, especially boys, are all about hands on and doing. Does he have things he can do with what he learns? Things to build? Have you read Leadership Education to better understand the phases? There are also a lot of articles and helps on the tjedonline site.
How is your relationship and your own education? Do you spend time writing? Do you read on your own? Your relationship and example have a direct correlation to your power to inspire him.
Love of Learning
I actually just found out about the other two books I could get.
Basically, his day consists of me telling him what his assignments and chores are for the day and he determines when he does these things. Then he's "free" to do whatever. If I let him he'd play computer or videa games all day, but as it is he only gets about 1/2 hour a day on computers.
This is probably more my ideals are too high! I envision my kids just dying to sit and read all day. Wanting to write creatively without a fuss. Asking lots of questions about everything. I guess that's what I envision for "Love of Learning."
I know what interests him: computer games, board games, soccer & basketball. He enjoys science as well. He told me awhile ago he wanted to get a doctorate in science someday. As I'm thinking more about the TJED method and getting back into it, I'm realizing these are the things I can and should be incorporating more into his learning. For instance, my husband likes to put together computers and so I told him, "Next time you build a computer, I want J. to be involved. As a matter of fact, I want you to build a computer just for him." So, I'm thinking about it.
As for ME? I am constantly reading. I HAVE to write daily. I'm a visual learner and so I need to be shown things sometimes rather than reading & researching. I find he's the same way. I have a great relationship with my son. He's a good kid. I think I just over obsess about what I'm NOT teaching him sometimes and so then I worry he's not going to "amount to anything." Lame, but I just had to ask to get some opinions & ideas on how you all go through the Love of Learning phase with your families.
Thanks!
Another question: It seems many posts I've read there's more of an "unschooling" mentality. What are some ways in which you structure your days? Thanks!
Inventory and engage
Good! I asked those to help you evaluate, not because I needed the answers. Sometimes we go into panic mode and our perspective distorts. Having some questions to ask ourselves and spend time evaluating helps to unlock our brain and get it thinking. Have you done 6 month inventories? Very helpful and highly recommended.
Learning what each phase looks like for our children is part of becoming the expert on our family. And it gets tricky since we were raised in a comparative system we tend to compare and despair.;) Have you asked him if he loves learning?
I would definitely jump all over the science interest and try to connect his skill areas that you want him to develop to that interest. Board games are great, do you play with him? I did that with my son and was able to use it to encourage, compliment and teach.
My day is very basic with big blocks of time. It has also varied over the years to meet our needs, but it does have a general, consistent form. I have 5 kids 18-5 and have been at this for about 14 years. Morning we have a prayer, scripture, breakfast block; then a devotional and kidschool block; followed by a tutoring block (individual attention); then lunch and projects; work and free play time.
One last question - how much of his work and learning time are you engaged with him? in the family group and individually? Does he prefer to work alone on chores and assignments, or does he really want your attention and input? Do you make sure to compliment and give specific positive feedback?
As far as unschooling - appropriate in LoL, not other phases so much. Generally, Core kids need basic structure and direction (training in chore and moral code), LOL kids need more freedom to direct themselves, Scholar need more outside direction, it is an ebb and flow.
I am sure you will find that you are not doing so badly and that he is just fine. If you have a love of learning and model it through your excitement and sharing, that will help him see what it looks like for you. I don't know if this applies in your case but - when my son (oldest) was 11 I was concerned because I didn't see him choosing to read because he loved it. So I asked my husband to do the reading for the family read-aloud for awhile. I give him a list of books to choose from so that it would be something he would enjoy. I wanted my son to see his role model enjoying reading. It didn't take long before my son was reading hard stuff because he enjoyed it. A few years later he told me he couldn't imagine not reading, he loved it and all that he was learning.
Letting Go & More
That is very interesting to me that your husband got involved in the read-aloud. It's funny because there's one set of books my son will read over and over (Diary of a Wimpy Kid). Not so sure I am fond of that book but he and his dad laughed and laughed through parts of it together . . . which I think is what led my son to love the books even more and want to keep reading them. My husband reads a lot, but it's generally at bedtime (for him). And by way of actually "teaching", my dh is not as engaging. As the kids are getting older, he's starting to get more involved . . . but I love that suggestion of having the dad do the read aloud.
Your other question about how engaged I am - - I think that's why I'm getting a tad bit frustrated because I feel a little too engaged. I feel like I'm too in control. Which leads to the other comment about "letting go." I guess I've always felt that I needed to really be involved with the kids and now that I've got five it's way overload.
My days have been pretty scheduled, like your "blocks" up until recently when I realized the blocks work great for my son but my other (girls especially) don't seem to "get" the blocks of time thing. For instance, cleaning time would always extend into the learning time and whatnot, so I would get frustrated with them in not sticking to "my" schedule. So, now the "do it at your own pace" thing is working as far as getting their "required work" done. In reality, I would love to just read, play games, watch great movies, and go hiking all day, every day. Those things aren't happening because of the "required work."
So, I think it's true that I can't 'let go" very well and allow the freedom that maybe the LoL stage needs (I just ordered the phases book last night, so that should help) because of the "worldy pressure" so to speak. And I think that now they are getting older they should know more stuff. :-)
Thank you for all your comments (both of you). Keep it coming, because I really do want my kids to have a more TJ education.
P.S. What is the 6 month inventory?
inventory
First, a comment on my boxes. We all move at our own pace within the box, which is several hours. Whatever does not get finished during its time will wait until that box comes around again. That way we don't have the bleeding problem.
I believe you will learn more about inventories, interviews and weekly planning in the phases book. Briefly - every 6 months take time, 1-3 hours per person, to ponder each person you mentor. You sit with a pad of paper and focus your attention on the person and write what comes to mind in answer to questions, such as - who are they right now, what do they need, what do they need from me, where is our relationship, etc. everything applying to now and into the next 6 months. You spend this kind of time because the good stuff always takes time to come to you. Those of us who are prayerful do this with prayer. This information, and what you learn from interviews, is used when doing your weekly planning. This is how you personalize their education and helps you meet their ever changing needs.
To get back to your original question of inspiring him to read classics - find and introduce him to those books that will be classic to him, things that have to do with his interests. Read him the first chapter and ask if he would like to hear more. If he says no then try the next day with another book. If he says yes then tell him you are out of time and put the book down and say you will read more later. Be evasive as to when, you want him to get tired of waiting and pick it up on his own. You can even end up reading the whole thing eventually but let him feel the pain of having to wait on your schedule. Have you got the Jeanne Bendick biography based science books? I consider those classic.